“Be quiet!” – A dispute between airplane passengers escalates in the sky over Malaysia

A clash of sensitivities recently occurred in the evening sky over Malaysia. A dispute between several passengers escalated on an Air Asia flight from Kuala Lumpur.

The cabin crew had difficulty separating the quarreling couple, and security personnel were already waiting upon landing in Sichuan, China. It all began with a simple request.

After the plane reached its cruising altitude, the lights were dimmed—a sign that quiet should now return to the rows of seats. However, three women continued to speak very loudly to each other.

Eventually, a man asked them to keep their voices down. They refused and continued their conversation at the same volume, whereupon the man allegedly shouted in an aggressive tone: "Be quiet! Are you stupid? I want to sleep." The situation then escalated. Everyone involved was yelling at each other, and a video shows two of the women becoming physically violent.

Only when the cabin crew intervened and the safety lights in the aisle flashed did calm return. Another passenger later told the PR agency Viral Press. She was on the same plane and filmed the scene. Air Asia confirmed the incident to the Associated Press news agency.

The escalation over Malaysia tells the story of two opposing sensitivities and a great loss. On the one hand, parts of society are increasingly less able to tolerate it. A crying toddler? Disturbing. Smacking at the next table? An imposition. Let's not even get started on the loud gum chewing of the person sitting next to you on the bus. High noise sensitivity now has a name and a psychological justification: misophonia.

Working from home, using noise-cancelling headphones, or less social activity – i.e. less time spent in the company of others, sometimes strangers – may have increased sensitivity.

So there are those who perceive the presence of other people so intensely that they find it almost unbearable. Diametrically opposed to them are those who simply don't seem to realize that there are other people besides themselves and their needs.

Becoming socially acceptable once meant learning that you had to behave differently in different spaces, especially when sharing those spaces with others. Those who liked to put their feet up on the sofa at home also knew they shouldn't do the same on the train. Those who listened to music in the waiting room did so with headphones. And those who flew kept their conversations at a moderate volume – knowing that the space was small and the number of people in it was large.

This behavior, which we are in danger of losing today, is called consideration. It is a cornerstone of decency and is based on the awareness that we are not alone in the world. And on the willingness to behave in society in such a way that we inconvenience others as little as possible.

Only this willingness makes respectful interaction possible. However, someone who only cares about themselves and their own needs is unlikely to give a second thought to interaction. When a person is reminded that there are other people out there, they are rarely embarrassed. Instead, many feel their freedom is being curtailed – just ask someone on a crowded train not to use the loudspeaker for their phone call. The reaction then ranges from incomprehension to anger to verbal retaliation.

Perhaps the only surprising thing about the scenes on the Air Asia plane is that we don't hear such stories more often. Perhaps not yet.